In Search of Validation
Losing Your Way
According to experts in psychology, an emotionally vulnerable person can be expected to experience problems in what is called an “invalidating environment,” a situation in which personal experiences and responses are disqualified or invalidated by others. As a result, they are aware of their coping difficulties and blame others for unreasonable demands and expectations.
Vulnerable Christians attempt to gain acceptance or have feelings acknowledged by whoever they can find. But, enticed by the flowery speech of humanism, weak Christians easily fall prey to its destructive influence. Where once they sought answers and direction from our heavenly Father, now, answers and guidance are sought from a superficial world. Things temporal have replaced things spiritual.
They seek acceptance from a humanistic worldview for everything in life, from material to intellectual, from day-to-day to future planning, even self-worth and moral standards. But the world is incapable of quelling the fire that burns within, a yearning to feel validated.
If you are one of these Christians, you have placed yourself in harm’s way, entangled in a web spun by world philosophies. Besides that, you may find yourself hogtied to the almighty self, the humanistic endgame of your departure from godliness.
And still, your heart is not satisfied. You may have self-doubt or feel devalued or dismissed by what others say to you. Are you mortally wounded by those words and have measured self-worth by how you feel?
Proverbs 13:12: “There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.”
If you have not left God altogether, then God’s light remains within you as a glowing ember, a reminder to humble yourself and return to Him. You may be pricked in your heart when you bring into remembrance the joy that the Lord gave you.
Perhaps you recall that divine love the Father had so graciously shined upon you. You remember how you felt so loved, safe, and comforted, basking in the warmth of His care. You ran to the Father as a child into His welcoming arms anytime you wanted to. But now, you choose to turn away, as if the world can fill you with greater joy and satisfaction. How far have you fallen that you no longer seek the light of God?
Galatians 1:10: “For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ.”
Now, you resist God and continue on your path to finding acceptance through humanistic thought and seeking worldly validation. You seek to be validated by the world’s standards for who you are and what you do. You strive to be normal within a conflicted world. But who determines if a person is “normal”? Who is the authority to set validation standards?
When you feel invalidated, it is only you invalidating yourself. No one can invalidate you. Only you have the power to judge if others validate or invalidate you. But what is that based on in a humanistic society? Feelings? Since when do feelings take the driver’s seat and set the course of your life? Since when do feelings determine right and wrong, good and bad, truth and lies? How solid a foundation do feelings offer?
You have ventured into the mire of the me-myself-and-my-feelings realm. If you are relying on human wisdom for validation, you will never feel validated. If you rely on your feelings for validation, it will be as fleeting and varied as snowflakes. So, awaken from your worldly lull and run towards what you already know to be the ultimate authority on validation.
Suppose you seek to find your answers on some Internet dribble, good luck. There are some valuable points to learn and can be applied, but you will need to separate the wheat from the chaff. How will you discern? If you seek understanding, you already know where to find Understanding. If you seek guidance, you already know where to find Guidance. If you seek peace, you already know where to find Peace. If you seek love, you already know where to find Love. If you seek validation, there is only one source for that too.
Proverbs 3:5: “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.”
Proverbs 3:6: “In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”
Proverbs 3:7: “Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.”
Have you ever thought by acknowledging God, He acknowledges you? Setting aside the ultimate authority on validation will only cause you to focus on that which will fail. Nothing in this world will give you a satisfied heart and mind or quiet a troubled spirit. The validation you seek exists and is only found in one place, the source of all validation, and you already know where to find it.
I Corinthians 3:18: “Let no man deceive himself. If any man among you seemeth to be wise in this world, let him become a fool, that he may be wise.”
I Corinthians 3:19: “For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God. For it is written, He taketh the wise in their own craftiness.”
I Corinthians 3:20: “And again, The Lord knoweth the thoughts of the wise, that they are vain.”
If you focus on feelings, you focus on weakness and will wither. If you focus on hope, you focus on strength and will be sustained. Plain and simple.
Go to those who will point you in the right direction; you know who they are. God put them in your life. Seek your answers in the only source of ultimate authority; you know that is the Bible. Then and only then will you no longer hunger for validation or languish in feelings. Instead, you will be strong, secure, confident, and set on a straight path.
Do not dive into humanistic thought designed to cloud your mind. Focusing on constant invalidation is a humanistic approach to keep sensitive people feeling invalidated. It is wholly centered around self, period. Instead, get clarity and wisdom from one dependable source, a source that never runs dry or lets you down, is always with you, and helps you through the tough times. You already know this source is God.
You no longer need to feel diminished; you will feel uplifted. You will no longer focus on yourself but be selfless. Wouldn’t you rather enjoy heavenly good than flounder in worldly folly? Rise up. You already know where all the answers lie.
If God validates you, what more validation do you need? What calamity can there possibly be if the whole world rises against you and only God stands with you?
Romans 8:31: “What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?”
The psychiatric profession has its place and can do good. But as you have been taught, you are made in the image of God, three persons in one. You are physical, mental, and spiritual. Only treating the mental is only treating one-third of you. Without the other two, you are not fully treated. Have you only fed the mental aspect and starved the spiritual aspect? Why? Do you know better than God? If so, why are you still in this mire?
It takes more faith to believe in humanism than God. Why are you fighting so hard to be miserable? Life is short; live it to its fullest. You are His creation, and He loves you with a love this world can never offer you. You will find true happiness only when you let go of the shortcomings this world offers and allow the fullness of God to live through you. But you already know this.
Colossians 2:8: “Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.”
Did not Christ already validate you through His death even before you knew Him? When you accepted Christ, you accepted His validation. You are affirmed and validated through the blood of Christ. Amen.
II Timothy 1:9: “Who hath saved us, and called us with an holy calling, not according to our works, but according to his own purpose and grace, which was given us in Christ Jesus before the world began.”
So, why is there still a question of needing to feel validated? It is the almighty self that prevents your return to godliness and grovels to find validation elsewhere. As long as you see self as the answer to all things meaningful in your life, the less meaning your life will have. Is that what you really want? You already know the answer your heart craves. Isn’t it time to fill your heart’s desire? Isn’t it time to let go of the world and let God reign in your life?
Let God’s light and love pierce through that hardened heart of yours. Stop kicking against the stony rock and return to the love and peace that flows from God. As honey on the tongue, succumb to that great sweetness you know you can only find in God.
II Chronicles 30:9: “…for the LORD your God is gracious and merciful, and will not turn away his face from you, if ye return unto him.”
How Christians Can Help
If a floundering Christian is seeking validation in all the wrong places, there is something fellow Christians can do to help. First and foremost, Jesus commanded that we should care about each other.
John 13:35: “By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.”
We should be sensitive to our brethren’s needs. Be present with them and let them know you care. Understand them without judgment and have empathy for what they are going through.
Ephesians 4:2: “With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love;”
Ephesians 4:32: “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”
I Peter 3:8: “Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous:”
Helping fellow Christians is not only a duty but an expression of all that Christ taught us to be. In so doing, individuals and the church are strengthened, and God’s law is fulfilled. Let Christ’s compassion work through us as a beacon of light so others in this world seeking validation will find it in Him.
“In Search of Validation” Related Articles
==> Also read “God Every Day.”
==> And read “The Isaiah Trail to Salvation.”
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